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To the smiling flower,

Child, I have a beautiful house.

A house that you always had dreamt of
I was building this house since a year and a half now.
I know that YOU are fond of chicken coop..
So, I brought two coops with 2 nest houses each,
Making it easy for female hens to lay
& hatch eggs.

Daughter, I also know that you are
avid of goats and lambs.
Thus, I got two goats and two little
lambs home.
I made aesthetic shed for them.
I took good care of them like
a moth to a flame

Little did I know about you, girl.
But, your habitual prayers, holy songs
& taking my name in every gasp of your
breath & that lovely wind
pulled me towards YOU!

To know you more, became my duty.
The way you cared for me
with devotion bordering on obsession,
mesmerized me!
Your enigmatic deeds drawn me to

That confidence upon own-self,
Courage to face the fear,
challenges & future..
made me revolve around

I worshipped the way how you
helped the poor, stood truthful
by your side,
and fought for your offsprings
when they were in peril.

The way how you turned always an empath,
by participating in other’s joy & sorrow
enabled me in making golden wings for
All your efforts, physical and mental
to put things right & in places
coerced me to make a THORNE
for YOU.

I equipped myself to plough
the bare land infront of this,
house to make a beautiful
A garden full of trees, crops, flowers
& paddy field.

As I know, you always loved
the greenery & the freshness
of the wind,
which is as clear & gleaming
as YOU are.
I gave life to all those chirping birds
who were of varied colors.

I saw your discomfort, felt your pain,
which you suppressed with your
I know it pained you, but you
didn’t stop worshipping me.
I didn’t let you suffer a day even,
by then I spread by arms and hid
you in my WINGS.

I flew away & detached the signal
with the earthly world &
flew away so HIGH.
My garden was so ready &
rest of the peaceful flowers
were waiting for you at HOME.

I realized something was missing
amid these soulful flowers
and by placing you in among them
made it look COMPLETE.

I was in search of you, my smiling flower
for my GARDEN.
And I’ve chosen the best that I could
for this celestial house, called HEAVEN.

Here I give you the boon ..
May you have all the supreme powers ..
To feel, fly, merry, dwell & be with
whomever you want & hid under the wings
of your beloved MOTHER.
And you may return this home
to perform further duties,
which only YOU CAN!


Inspired by Quote: “God plucks the most beautiful flowers for his garden.”


With love,



voyage through dreams ~

Everyone dreams – even people who believe that they never dream. Non-dreamers do dream.

Since the time I understood what actual dreams in subliminal mind meant, I started the norm of making a note of dreams that I glimpsed in a book. Then to discover the meaning of the dreams and its connections became my preferred pastime. Looking in to it gravely and discussing on the same with my intimate people became the habitual, where it all started from year 2002. I have encountered vivid and varied glimpses of dreams, like every other person. But to let it aside just as dream was not something I was always up to. To dig more, to locate the routes and its connections, doing an apposite research and finding a convincing counter to it was one of my obsessions. One who eavesdrops to your dreams, one with whom you can share your dreams with; are always the people who are nearer & dearer to you.




In midst of a beautiful conversation between the two of us, he attentively said, “what if all that happened until this moment is just a plain dream including the one I am saying now? What if it is someone else’s dream and we are merely the characters of his or her dream? Can this not happen that he wakes up from his dream and we all fade away?” It was undeniably a weird thought that he has spoken out. But, as per my equation, it was one such issue to be reassessed that has come from a brawny, jagged brain. I have done speckled study about false awakening, lucid dreams, sleep paralysis, day dreams, normal dreams, nightmares and such.

In it, I ponder how can one know whether this is a reality or it is a dream? What we if we are dead and the life is flashing through our own eyes right NOW & we are just the observers and powerless. Life, itself is a beautiful mystery & the most alluring fairytale. And we all assume that there is a difference between our inner world and outer world, ending up suspecting our existence too. Several misgivings and worries do surpass when we assume on such startling enigma. It is the different mysterious way life makes you think and it shows entirely different things every day. Perhaps, this is just the beginning and there is much more already planned for us. If not now, perhaps after death & and we all give a negative connotation to death. I would rather say, we should not curse death and instead should embrace with much positivity, if that happens. Possibly, there is a bigger picture ahead of us & we will know it only when we die. Until then, I will continue to love the existence or the dream that I am living in and explore it more, awaiting the bigger portrait, frantically.

We can make it extraordinary, our life after all! Do it with love!







~ being mysterious ~

Being mysterious ~

Hiding all the pain and the assorted feelings within yourself and portraying yourself to the world as nothing had happened defines you as the most secretive person and that confuses and scares me, he said.

How long can you hide from others? How far can you take all these pain? Is there any end to this, they asked, ambiguously?

To begin with, I do not conquer any pleasure in hiding my emotions and throwing a different outlook to the world. I have tried different ways of dwindling my pain and wounds by sharing it with the people I had cared and loved once. I was always a giver in such situations. I surrendered myself to them with all my love and heed.

Forget not, I shared with those whom I felt that they are close to me the way I am to them. Few took a pro of the ill situations, while some made fun out of it. The other half were pretty disparaging about it. This didn’t make me feel any better. I lately realized that they were rather more curious about the situation than welcoming. I had to put an end to such probing relations with a determined decision that I cannot put myself in to a picture where they can splutter their time making elf-stories about me.

The less you share, the less they speak & judge about you. The more you weep, the more they get jaded.

Being mysterious

Nothing can stop from coming anything to your way. Be it a good thing or worse. The only way to defeat such situations is to face them. Multiply your ease, spread the magic, converse as much as you can on your preferred topic, stay beautiful, and last of all “wide smile” without letting others know what you are going through or rather what you are, are the messages I derived personally from such unbroken occurrences. By doing so, at the end of the day they are pleased and I am contented about my doings. I am not inquisitive to know about others and I do not want to be a tool of their talk.

Harmless I am, by nature. Thus, do not be baffled and frightened of me. I might take the entire twinge from you but would not let you go through the same.

Fair enough, I can hide from others until the day I can. I am pretty self-assured that I can take all the ache and soreness without any aid. Oh yes, there is an end to all these mess, as I believe in the very mere fact that “the best is yet to come my way”. I am so fanatically looking forward for it.

Even the pitch-black hours of darkness will end and the sun will ascend, till then let me continue being myself. Being mysterious ~




Yet an other much-loved topic of mine is beaches.

I feel myself very alluring, exceptional and sense tremendously cheerfulness when I am in a shoreline. Beaches are always a better place to spend remarkable times. I have not been to inestimable number of beaches but have been to quite a few ones. Out of which, Mamzar beach – Dubai is my desired one. There is a secret and a very unusual bond between myself and Mamzar. And three things common in both of us are we are very hushed at times, for all time self-determining, a mystifying, intense and yet bold in our own beautiful way.

She, “beach” naively takes me back to those heartrending, pleasant and wounded reminiscences. Just like my unripe feelings, she is flawless too. To dribble petite gravels into water’s edge one at a time, jogs my remembrances. The beam of night lamps fringed around the beach falls on the stream and that moistens my fat eyes. Wondering at the pace of water curving towards me I pulled back my supple feet.

mamzar beach

Sensual wind from all corners knew that I have emerged and that has embraced me firmly with love and in beautiful rhythm. I hummed my favorite tender music in pulse of waft wind. Shore was getting elevated and filled with glee in my presence. The wind whispered in my ears all the remarkable tales in every single breeze. Getting hold of my tresses was very “easier-said-than-done”.  My red robe was unruly and it flew in all crooks.

I was like a diamond shining under the exquisiteness of the moon. Passionate sea touched my soft feet leaving a taste with intense emotion. “I am lonesome & I must confess to moon. It’s just merely me, you and the forlorn moon, I told her solemnly.” I looked up the moon and that she looked so watery in her cloudy shroud. I asked her if she is drained as a result of flaunting day & night. I pleaded her to wide smile before she fades away.

My soul was contented, with her shadow of twinkle. I fell to the ground with her majesty as she sent the wind who spoke softly on my ears, “this night is made for loving in dearth of light of the moon and in witness of this boundless seashore and thus, I must fade away.”

Deprived of sight of eclipse, we collided until the day we both brushed our lips.




Dear Folks,

Dear folks,

As long as I am not doing anything wrong you should give me an opportunity to respire. I have had suffered a lot till date. I’ve had a great deal of torment in my life. I have lost many good people. I’ve had a lot of things happen to me that I don’t talk about to all.

I’ve had a lot of really distressing, thorny things. And these things have not toughened to determine to make the best of my life. I was, if truth be told imbalanced, depleted, strained out and am still.

I also have suffered from singling out in several ways and it started from my school due to my disability in lettering and calligraphy print. And I had to shift from school to school. For as long as I can memorize I have suffered from a profound feeling of fretfulness which I later tried to express in the form of writing.

They say that, such distress, problems and anguish of today makes people greater tomorrow, but it never worked with me. My state was deteriorated steadily. And I was suicidal. Few saw me as brave, but I was no more brave and plucky than I was with injuries I had.

Things that I’ve learned about my Life:

  1. You cannot change other people.
  2. Everyone likes someone who gets to the point promptly.
  3. Whenever you’re vexed and concerned about what others will think of you, you’re in actual fact just nervous about what you’ll think of you.
  4. Each problem you have is your accountability, in spite of who caused it.
  5. Blame is the preferred leisure of those who hate responsibility.
  6. Revenge is for the immature.


Time heals all wounds. Is that true? Time doesn’t repair any injury. Only your own dealings will “heal” them. Time only allows you get used to the pain and it will deteriorate you. Every person who’s inconsolable doesn’t want to be told that everything’s going to be well again.

I have tried to change myself according to you people, the circumstances, your moods, likes and dislikes but that didn’t bring me any good. But I believe at the end of the day, I deserve some respect.





~ Fairytales ~

I love fairytales, I dwell in it by overlooking my environs. I can be the character of my finicky theme. I inadvertently get transformed to an outlook and get carried away by it for long, long and very long until I spot an other persona.

Fairy Tales

I always lived my life thus far in a folk tale and I was relentlessly reminded by peeps to not see it as an allegory. To which, I constrained them to look towards life with open eyed. It’s your life, only you can design it the way you want it to be. Only you can mould it according to your moods and seasons. It’s just you who got an “on the whole” control over it. Only you can ravage it on rage and pain. You are in command of your own pleasure. You are the regulator. You conclude your own cheerfulness. You are the key to it.

And to end with, you are the creator and the slayer.

Life is a fairytale. I love fairytales where flipping of each page of my life ends with much oddity & gleefully.



Unapologetic ~

Unapologetic ~


I have been into many relationships. I have had fallen in love very often. At times, it is the way they talk, with the way their ideas met mine, with their eminent personality, or with the way they carry themselves.

I enjoyed observing them. Good listener I am, on occasion. But when I realize it is time to put an end to such hollow relations, I take my choice summarily and move on.

Most of the times, the decisions I took were the right ones and few times wide of the mark. It is said that mistakes are always pardonable, if that was unintended. But for me it wasn’t. If one is hurt with the blunder that you carried out, it is a mistake. All wrongdoing is wrong and to wound one is a sin.

It is too witty to watch out them while they point out their fingers on to you casing their own faults. During such times, they fail to take an effort to realize how regally they damaged the untainted relation. Good relationships go bad.




I am a matured woman who acts like a child by throwing a total outburst, and arms and legs flapping in antipathy at my own self. The worst mistake I had ever committed was being with the wrong people. I had regrets. And there was a time that I wished if I could undo things.

I lived my life where I ended up at a point … “I have no regrets & apologies”. And the truth is I am proud of life that I have lived so far. And I believe in NO looking back. I, instantaneously made an accord with myself to not fall in to this entrap again, but to learn from mistakes.

It took a while to live it down. But I alighted in fine state, ultimately.





~ An endless ocean ~

There was a stillness & darkness,
When I stepped in to his cottage.

My heart was beating briskly,
Skipping every beat as he approached.

Every touch of his skin on mine tingled
And left me with quivers

He whispered on to my ears,
The tale of love ~

He lit the scented candles,
The beam of rays flashed on my face
He covered me with kisses.


Gave me the life that I was wanting for
I barely could move, as he held me tight

Caressed me hard
Loved me like
~ An endless ocean ~

I dived myself in to it forgetting all my
fears and worries

If I died today, I’d have no regrets
As I lived and breathed like
Hundred more years

In ahead of his love.


~ his touch ~

The lush of darkness
where only two bodies
met &
the souls wrote their
preferred poem.
He plunged himself in to me
and that gave a waft like
a wave in a deep-sea.

 His every touch gave me shivers
with much need and anticipation.
drawn to your touch
merely a way I can truly be


 My hands would clutch your
shoulders wanting to hold you
right there.
Like an artist I brushed
my lips on your mouth”
those striking eyes,
made our encounters,
so very special in the darkness.


 Too many words left unspoken
Too many things left undone
being with you
where only two bodies
met &
the souls wrote their
preferred poem.


~ Angel of death ~

Sat in the obscure pathways
Unaided for many days
Not wanting to talk to any
Everything seemed so vague
Knees sort of weak & numb
My man, treated me like a duchess
We rave around & caressed
Day rapidly washed-out
I told him he should leave now
I almost didn’t want to let him go
But I did . . .


Sun is down up my face
I drew my beautiful mind
With a piece of chalk
Dark and warped
It had curves &
Was full of quietude
I didn’t ask for any aid
I knew that I was drowning
& was enjoying the every bit of it
Set my beautiful life
In the edge of blunt knife
It is beautiful here
With no one to help
I floated away
with many memories
with nobody to care



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